In my work with adult clients, a frequent theme that arises during sessions is that of boundaries.

They are the limits we place to protect our needs, our hearts, our bodies, amongst others. Few of us have learned healthy boundaries during our childhoods, and the effects can be felt throughout our adulthood. There are many challenges in establishing and maintaining boundaries, but the most common complaint is what I would like to challenge.

COVID-19 has transformed many aspects of our lives- some for better, others for worse. One such transformation has been the seismic shift in the workplace.

Working-from-home (sometimes shortened to WFH) started as a distancing necessity, requiring us all to become proficient in video conference calls and virtual meetings. Employers and employees have both capitalized on this expanded flexibility, geographic freedom, and commute-eliminating savings. 

Couples counselling is always a learning experience for all parties. I wanted to offer a glimpse behind-the-scenes of couples counselling, but that is a tall order! Each session, each couple, is so unique; that processes vary tremendously. 

So, here are a few surprising lessons that I’ve seen couples learn during relationship counselling. 

Deciding to go to therapy is a huge decision that requires courage. So, when you see the fees associated with therapy, it’s hard not to feel dismay and dread.

You start to think….“You charge how much?”, “ An hour is actually 50 minutes?”, and “ You suggest I see you every week?” After some quick mental math, you may think to yourself, “I am in the wrong line of work. I should have been a therapist, and I would be rolling in dough!”. 

Believe me -you are not alone in having this line of thinking. In fact, that hourly rate creates tension for all parties involved (we know the financial realities of Canadians). 

Throughout my career, I have asked clients about their goals: hundreds of clients, hundreds of goals. There is one answer that wins the majority, by landslide. The answer I typically get is “ I just want to be happy”. I hear this reply so often, it’s hard to remember if I’ve heard anything else in response.

If this is a goal you have set for yourself, the biggest obstacle in reaching this goal is your brain. This magnificent, complex, poorly understood organ. It is evolution's greatest marvel. It is the reason we have survived and evolved over millennia.

It’s amazing to meet with a therapist who puts you at ease and makes you feel comfortable.

Having the opportunity to talk with someone who’s open, a straight shooter and a great listener helps you to get to the heart of what’s really bothering you.

Working with someone who creates a space where you feel safe to spill your guts, without you even realizing it is incredibly supportive.

Being able to be in a kind, empathetic environment is conducive to healing and reflection, which in turn makes you look forward to positive changes. All of these things should be present when working with any therapist, but Alicia delivers all of this in spades at Dancing Willow Wellness.

Have you ever told yourself to remember not to do something, only to do it anyway?

A number of years ago, I took a college course that required a final exam. As my children were still young, I arranged to drop them off with my parents on the day of the exam. I had, coincidently, misplaced my spare car key.

So, driving the children to my parent’s house, anxious about this exam to begin with, and now concerned about losing my remaining car key, I reminded myself over and over, “don’t lock the keys in the car… don’t lock the keys in the car...” And of course, that is exactly what I ended up doing – I walked the children into their grandparent’s house and came back out to find I had locked the car and left the keys in the ignition.

As I tell my clients, “if self-care feels like just another thing you have to do, you're doing it wrong”.

There are many ways of taking care of yourself; getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising, etc. But I think many of us are missing a really important part of self-care.

Addictions counseling and treatment provide support to the most vulnerable people, at a time when the family is in crisis. Unfortunately, there are many companies that prey upon the desperation of those affected by addiction.

Not all rehabs are created equal.

People often ask me about my work as an addictions counsellor. They want to know about the tragedies and the triumphs. They want to know how the story ends…

I used to wonder why this happened to me. I’d even try staying up super late hoping exhaustion would help me avoid it. Going to bed early (especially if I wasn’t tired) only made it worse. Thankfully, I’ve found a few tips and tricks over the years which have helped me stop overthinking or quiet my mind when it does happen.

You may not know that there are different types of counsellors. Some are old-school (Psychodynamic) who want to link back your concerns to how you were parented.