When we stop to consider the myriad of things that can affect our mental health, our focus is so often on the negative. Things such as painful memories that have a detrimental effect on our emotional well-being, triggers that can take us from ‘OK’ to ‘Nope’ in no time at all. And while these definitely play a significant role in our mental health - or lack thereof - it is equally important to explore the power of positive experiences and emotions.

Positive experiences or ‘Glimmers’ as they are sometimes called, are the moments that bring joy, contentment, and a sense of fulfilment, and they can have an equally profound impact on mental health.

Throughout my career, I have asked clients about their goals: hundreds of clients, hundreds of goals. There is one answer that wins the majority, by landslide. The answer I typically get is “ I just want to be happy”. I hear this reply so often, it’s hard to remember if I’ve heard anything else in response.

If this is a goal you have set for yourself, the biggest obstacle in reaching this goal is your brain. This magnificent, complex, poorly understood organ. It is evolution's greatest marvel. It is the reason we have survived and evolved over millennia.

Have you ever told yourself to remember not to do something, only to do it anyway?

A number of years ago, I took a college course that required a final exam. As my children were still young, I arranged to drop them off with my parents on the day of the exam. I had, coincidently, misplaced my spare car key.

So, driving the children to my parent’s house, anxious about this exam to begin with, and now concerned about losing my remaining car key, I reminded myself over and over, “don’t lock the keys in the car… don’t lock the keys in the car...” And of course, that is exactly what I ended up doing – I walked the children into their grandparent’s house and came back out to find I had locked the car and left the keys in the ignition.

I used to wonder why this happened to me. I’d even try staying up super late hoping exhaustion would help me avoid it. Going to bed early (especially if I wasn’t tired) only made it worse. Thankfully, I’ve found a few tips and tricks over the years which have helped me stop overthinking or quiet my mind when it does happen.

When I hear 'should' coming out of my mouth, I think I've got a ball and chain attached to my ankle. 'Should' is so heavy. It's so full of obligation. It's so judgmental. I allow myself to make a change and reframe how I'm thinking about that 'should.'