We’ve been chatting about how habits are formed, how they affect your daily life and how to start making changes. If you didn’t catch the previous two articles, you can read them here: How Habits Affect Your Life + How to Make them Work for You and How to Change Your Habits and Make it Stick - Part 1.

Simply put, habits are an unconscious response to a specific stimulus. If you get cut off in traffic, what’s your automatic response? If you’re feeling stressed, what’s your go-to solution? If your pet or child comes to see you and wants a hug, what’s your response?

When we stop to consider the myriad of things that can affect our mental health, our focus is so often on the negative. Things such as painful memories that have a detrimental effect on our emotional well-being, triggers that can take us from ‘OK’ to ‘Nope’ in no time at all. And while these definitely play a significant role in our mental health - or lack thereof - it is equally important to explore the power of positive experiences and emotions.

Positive experiences or ‘Glimmers’ as they are sometimes called, are the moments that bring joy, contentment, and a sense of fulfilment, and they can have an equally profound impact on mental health.

Our lives are run by habit. We wouldn’t be able to do the majority of the things we do in the day without habits. This doesn’t make habits wrong, right, good, bad, healthy, unhealthy… Habits simply are. Habits by nature are subconscious and exist solely to respond to different stimuli (pop over and read How Habits Affect Your Life if you want to understand why habits better).

Habits aren’t something that most people think about regularly until you’re trying to make a change. Habits, by nature, are subconscious and exist in response to specific stimuli. This is also called ‘Cue, Routine, Reward’ in Charles Duhigg’s book The Power of Habit.

“Habits are the compound interest of self improvement.” ~ James Clear (Atomic Habits)

By definition, habits are repeated actions or behaviours that you do with such frequency that you may not be aware of them. You might find yourself in the middle of the action or have even completed it before you realize what you are doing.

If you fall, you could break a bone, like thousands of older men and women do each year. For older people, a break can be the start of a more serious problem like a trip to the hospital, a permanent disability, or even a move to a long-term care home.

More than one in three people aged 65 years or older fall each year. The risk of falling and fall-related problems rises with age.

Throughout my career, I have asked clients about their goals: hundreds of clients, hundreds of goals. There is one answer that wins the majority, by landslide. The answer I typically get is “ I just want to be happy”. I hear this reply so often, it’s hard to remember if I’ve heard anything else in response.

If this is a goal you have set for yourself, the biggest obstacle in reaching this goal is your brain. This magnificent, complex, poorly understood organ. It is evolution's greatest marvel. It is the reason we have survived and evolved over millennia.

Have you ever told yourself to remember not to do something, only to do it anyway?

A number of years ago, I took a college course that required a final exam. As my children were still young, I arranged to drop them off with my parents on the day of the exam. I had, coincidently, misplaced my spare car key.

So, driving the children to my parent’s house, anxious about this exam to begin with, and now concerned about losing my remaining car key, I reminded myself over and over, “don’t lock the keys in the car… don’t lock the keys in the car...” And of course, that is exactly what I ended up doing – I walked the children into their grandparent’s house and came back out to find I had locked the car and left the keys in the ignition.

As I tell my clients, “if self-care feels like just another thing you have to do, you're doing it wrong”.

There are many ways of taking care of yourself; getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising, etc. But I think many of us are missing a really important part of self-care.

We’ve all had our fair share of stress over the last few years with the pandemic and all that’s come from that. Some of you have felt more stress with the loss of work, while others have felt like they have been working like a dog. Some people have been called heroes by some and spit on by others. We’ve also seen one of the most concerning protests in Canada in recent memory. All these events add stress to our lives!

Sleep is not self-indulgence or self-care. Sleep is a basic human need that’s critical to our health, well-being and self-preservation!

I'm choosing to start with this bold statement for a reason: from a young age, we're taught that 'sleep is for the weak’, that we can 'sleep when we're dead' and other detrimental beliefs about sleep. This is reinforced in our 20's and the belief that we can "do it all". North American culture has become one where sleep is thought of as a luxury we can't afford if we want to get everything done.

It’s coming up to the 2-year anniversary of this pandemic. Despite working with COVID positive clients, providing direct health care, throughout 2021, I didn’t contract COVID until New Year’s Eve of 2022.

I didn’t know I had it until they tested me at work on Monday, January 3rd.

That’s right. You read that correctly. I had COVID for 3 days before a test told me I had it.

But I will get to that…

Today I'm talking about one of my favourite ways to quiet overthinking, perhaps even begin to prevent it and allow your brain an opportunity to rest. While there are a ton of different articles, blogs and other posts about overthinking, this is a little different.

I used to wonder why this happened to me. I’d even try staying up super late hoping exhaustion would help me avoid it. Going to bed early (especially if I wasn’t tired) only made it worse. Thankfully, I’ve found a few tips and tricks over the years which have helped me stop overthinking or quiet my mind when it does happen.

When I hear 'should' coming out of my mouth, I think I've got a ball and chain attached to my ankle. 'Should' is so heavy. It's so full of obligation. It's so judgmental. I allow myself to make a change and reframe how I'm thinking about that 'should.'